Imagine this - you've been in a musical group for
almost a year, have had several gigs and tonight is
your CD release party. There's an excitement in the
air and all of the group members are feeling it. By
the end of song one, you exchange smiles with your
bandmates because you all know that the group is
going to have an amazing performance tonight. You
realize you are part of a synergistic, almost magical
experience, and it feels unreal. When the
performance is over, you continue to feel the buzz of
the evening and it lasts for days. This is what playing
music is all about!
Fast foward to band practice three weeks later.
Tensions are high and members are arguing
unproductively. The rhythm guitarist didn't learn his
parts to the new songs; the drummer has been
missing weekly practice and tonight he arrives over
an hour late. The lead singer is frustrated with the
bass player who isn't playing the part the way the
singer hears it in his head. At this point you barely
remember that great gig you had three weeks ago
and are contemplating whether to continue with this
group, which has become a lot less fun. Here are
some of my thoughts on managing band relationships:
1. Encourage open communication.
Everyone in the group should be encouraged to
speak honestly as well as listen openly to the other
member's opinions. Don't fall into the habit of
formulating your response while someone else if
speaking because you won't be fully listening to the
other person.
2. Be specific in your feedback, especially
when it is negative. For example, a
statement to the songwriter of "this song sucks" is
not real helpful and could be offensive to the
songwriter. Feeback that is more specific would be
something like, "this song needs a better hook."
3. Be accountable to your role in the group.
If you are expected to know a particular
song by the next practice, come to the next practice
having learned your part. If practice is at 8 PM, be
there at 8 PM. There are many tasks associated
with being in a musical group. One of the ways band
animosity gets created is when someone is perceived
to be slacking in their role.
4. Celebrate together when you accomplish
a big goal. Causes for celebration could be
finishing the CD, getting your first gig together as a
group, or having that amazing performance at a
particular show. Acknowledging your group "wins"
brings you closer to together and reminds group
members why you love playing music together.
5. Consider having someone objective
mediate the band. If your group is at a
crossroads and there's a lot of in-fighting,
consider asking someone outside the band to hear
out each member's concerns and assist the band in
moving foward with resolving their problems. A
professional coach can be helpful in this area as well
as a family or group therapist. Anyone see the
Metallica documentary called "Some Kind of Monster?"
Good luck in navigating the complicated world of
band relationships. If you have additional tips or
advice on this subject, please e-mail me at
moozic@msn.com
